Security Guard Chronicles

02/22-23/02

       MOE

       Who in the fuck ever heard of MOE? I now have dammit. A bunch of bowl haircuts with hippy clothes on trying their damnist to be like the 'Dead'. No real highlights from the view point of a security guard. Some dumb ass asked me before the show even started if I minded if he smoked his pipe. I told I didn't give a shit as long as I didn't see it. I saw it. I told him. He quit. Then he left. I got bored so I started watching the crown, and I saw a guy licking a paper. I stormed to him and told him to give it all up.....he gave me his joint. Then another dumbshit did the same, so I got his too. The next night, slower....the same people found new seats. Except for one guy. The one I got the major joint from the night before. I walked by him, smelling pot, and asked him if he was smoking. He said hell now not after getting caught the night before. Ok good, I replied or something' like that. I knew better. he wasn't going to give up his seat obviously and was being overly careful. I told him that all he needed to do was to take care of me and as long as he kept it hidden I wouldn't bust him. He thoughtfully pulled a fatty outta his pocket and handed it to me. Earlier in the night, I overheard other Security Guards talking about fucking with people a lot more fucked up than that so fuck it. MOE themselves made me extremely tired. They played the same riff over and over and over. What's up with the over and over shit? The guitar player with the bald head played technically great but enough is enough. BLAH

02/09/02

       A RAVE

        A poor excuse for something for kids to do. Disco is back, in a form even more sickening than the original. 2000 kids, dressed in tennis caps, baggy pants, matching shirts, and sucking on pacifiers. The guys out number the girls 5 - 1. The music, if you want to call it that, is basically the same song remixed with different fucked up sounding effects played over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. And over. Where do these dumb assed kids come from? I had at least 10 different kids come up to me at the backstage door and ask if they could some how get an autograph. Autograph? FROM WHO? The DJ. IS that fucked up or what? Some guy on stage, using a computer and some mixing gadget standing up there not doing anything but pushing buttons and playing someone else's songs and these kids want his autograph.......I can't get over that. I laughed at most of them that asked that, others I was nice and just said no. It's like these kids are sheep, and they want to go do something that will emphasize the fact that they are sheep. Doesn't make sense to me. This is my second rave to work and I hope but doubt my last. I guess they make money from the sheep in a big way. I hate to waste any more of my time talking about this crap. That is exactly what it is...CRAP.

02/03/02

    CAKE

            Cake played to nights at the Tabernacle Feb. 1st and 2nd. Opening the show was "The Wu Tang Clan of Mountain Music". I can't remember their name as of now, but I will find it and  post it. Anyway, who ever they are, they were fun. If you have ever seen the movie "O' brother where art thou'" and remember the song the brothers recorded on their journey, then you have an idea of what the band sounded like. 10 members playing instruments that ranged from an old wash board, an accordion, the banjo, steel guitar, spoons and a couple of things that I couldn't figure out exactly what they were, they played with enthusiasm every song they played. I have to say that the guy playing the old wash board was the "rock star" of the bunch playing to the crowd and girls every chance he got. Before they went on stage, I saw him talking to 3 girls about "meeting" and getting some hand signals down. After they got thru playing the lights came on for about 30 minutes. Most of the crowd stayed put cause they weren't old enough to drink. When the lights went back off, the crowd screamed as Cake came on stage. When they were all onstage, the lights stayed off and they all kind of hunkered down together and played an acoustic intro to the hushed crowd. The lead singer than walked to the front of the stage and just looked out with his hands held outward till the crowd got loud enough for him and they broke into their opening song. I do not know one song from the next so I'm not sure what the name of the opener is, but it did make me a bit of a fan. Very cool sounds. The lead singer is very charismatic and holds the audience in his hands effortlessly. After the first 5 songs it got a bit boring for me. Obviously not the case for the Cake fans who wound up a notch after every song. Everyone seemed to be dancing and having a great time. Funniest moment for me?> Two young kids standing behind me on the second level of the venue obviously extreme Cake fans. One asked me early in the show if they could take pictures. I told them no. 5 minutes later the youngest one decided to test me I guess cause he took 2 quick pictures of the band as they entered the stage. I told them if I saw one more flash I would take the camera from them the remainder of the show. Ok OK OK WE'RE sorry they said. I went back to my post and about 30 minutes later a fire extinguisher behind me blasted off a quick blast. I looked behind me to see the youngest kid standing with his arms to his side standing extremely upright and erect, mouthing the words "I'M SORRY I'M SORRY" over and over and over again. I laughed and told to him back away from it. That was the highlight of my night. Pitiful huh. Till next time..... 

Copyright © BMFinc.. Jeff JacksonAll rights reserved.
Revised: March 04, 2002.